Open Letter, to old man winter

Old Man Winter
Formerly of the Mountains of the Whispering Winds
Hilton Garden Inn Boca Raton
8201 Congress Avenue
Boca Raton, Florida 33487


Dear Mr. Winter,

I’m writing in regards to the dearth of snow in New York City. We’d like this remedied.

It’s now February and we still have time left for a good storm. I’ve seen massive blizzards sweep in and deposit a few feet of snow upon an unsuspecting populace so I know it’s possible. You see, the problem is that the frigid cold that makes me appreciate the Spring and Fall (and kills all the scary looking insects like the ones that live in Florida) really hasn’t hit us yet and I’m not feeling closure to the end of the season.

It’s not too late to send snow our way and a little biting cold. This morning there were fat fluffy flakes that fell from the sky as I strolled along 207th street to the A train. But it didn’t last, since then all flakes have melted and it’s now raining.

I have fond memories of snow banks five feet tall, of tires spinning and squealing uselessly against the slushy snow and packed down ice as my neighbors attempted to drive up the hill outside my house, the toboggans we built when I was young, down the stairs off the back deck around a corner (reinforced by the stump of a giant tree) and down another two flights of steps. The sledding, the snowball fights, and even the giant rainbow snow sculptures we made one year with a pot of gold at the end.

But I digress, you’ve gone on vacation and it makes me a little sad. Yes, I too like the warmer weather of the Southern States and like to complain about the cold, but I live in the North, and the season is called Winter, not Extended-Fall. My heart yearns for the quiet hush that descends upon City streets as thick flakes of snow waft down upon black pavement, the glistening brightness as the sun rises the next morning, and of trudging through the snow after a big snowfall.

This is pretty much the only snow I’ve seen all winter and it only lasted for a few hours at most.



The view from my apartment on the same day.



So I would like you to nudge the weather a bit. There is a wet storm system headed our way, and if you can manage to bring some cold air down from Canada we'll get snow. I don’t need much, well actually I’d like a foot or two, and I don’t need it to stick for longer than a day or so, just long enough for me to take pictures, but I’d like snow just the same. Winter without snow just isn’t winter.

If you could manage to send some white fluffy goodness our way before Feb. 22nd when I fly to New Zealand it would be much appreciated. But please avoid sending it on the 22nd if you can, as I’d like my plane to depart on schedule.

Please send snow to:

Upper West Side
c/o Bitter
81st & Amsterdam
New York, NY 10024


Kind regards,
-Bitter

p.s. clearly I’m not the only one who’s missing the snow.